It is Well with my Soul

It's amazing to me that someone who has had such trauma in their life could write the words, "It is well with my soul", but that is what Horatio Spafford did in the 1800's after losing his daughters in a shipwreck. (He also suffered many other horrible events in his life.) Horatio knew God's miraculous power to change a person's grieving heart. No person could truly have peace after all the things he endured without knowing God. My life, thankfully, has not been as traumatic, but I also know God's peace. The peace came in one instant after I said , "God, I surrender my will to you." The circumstances in my life didn't change and... I didn't win the lotto, didn't get a promotion, didn't win an award. Only one thing changed, I surrendered. Now I can truly say, "it is well with my soul."
Psalms 143:8 "Let the morning bring me your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift my soul."
P.S. great workout- back/biceps/abs/ran 30 min.

Jesus, Be Mine

...a perfect day to celebrate love. Today I felt love, God's love for me. As I worshipped Him in church this morning, I felt his love like never before. This year I'm trying to figure out love. Love is very complicated...I love the beach, I love peanut butter, I love sunshine. What does it mean to love? If love never fails, according to 1 Cor. 13:8, then I'm not sure I know how to love because I have failed when it comes to love. I pray on my journey God teaches me how to love.
1 Corinthians 13:4 "Love is patient, Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." Jesus, Lover of my soul, Be Mine and teach me to love.
P.S. No workout today.

New Day New Mercy New Life

Alarm goes off, 5:45. Eyes barely open, I’m thinking… breathing. My first thought is, “It’s Friday”. Next thought…”It’s a brand new day. I haven’t made one mistake, yet…good start.” It’s amazing that I can go to sleep, wake up and start all over. Yes, my yesterdays follow me, but tomorrow will be my today…so here’s to the best today I can live!
Lamentations 3:22 “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never end: they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”
P.S. no workout today, going to celebrate: New day. New Mercy. New Life.

God said, "Whew"

I have been impatient my whole life. I was the kid at Christmas that would open all my presents under the tree, then secretly re wrap them, only to be disappointed while I watched everyone else opening theirs with squeals and excitement on Christmas morning. There I sat, pretending to be happy. I have never in my life been patient for anything. I've jumped at any opportunity without seeking God. One thing I’ve learned on my journey, is that God speaks to us. It is that small, almost silent voice inside of us we can barely hear. When we are impulsive, out of control, in denial or rebellious we drown out that voice. His voice is quiet for a reason. He gives us the choice to be still and quiet to try to hear his instruction or to do our own thing. Here is what I know to be true: If you do not follow the path He has made for you, He will get you on that path one way or another. Our way is going to painful, traumatic and full of heartache. His way is so much easier, but…we will get there. And when we do He will probably let out a huge sigh of relief and say…”WHEW”. Then there we will be safe in His loving, forgiving, merciful arms saying to us, “I was never going to let you go.”
“I will instruct you and guide you along the best pathway for life; I will advise you and watch your progress.” Ps. 32:8
P.S. my plan is to work back and biceps, run 30 min. plan subject to change

The devil will pop out

When I was a little girl I remember going to my grandparents house. We would love to make faces in this huge mirror that was hung behind their couch. My Grandfather would always joke around with us and say,"If you look in the mirror too much the devil will pop out." It's funny because each time I would practice posing for a competition (which meant looking in the mirror a lot) I would hear my Grandfather's voice teasing us about the devil popping out. In a sense, it's true. The reflection either showed all my flaws or parts of my body I was proud of. It was either pride and vanity or disgust and disappointment. Today I pray that if my soul could look in a mirror, it's reflection would be...merciful, graceful, loving, forgiving...beautiful just like Christ.
"And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into His likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is in the Spirit. " 2 Co. 3:18
P.S. no work out today

Muscles have Memory

Yesterday I trained my shoulders and triceps for the first time in 3 months. It felt great. I was afraid I'd lost them! Muscles have memory whether we are referring the automatic movements our bodies make or a bodybuilder's definition, where your muscles actually can bounce back to size and strength after a prolonged layoff from working them. Unfortunately, I'm realizing our regrets, failures and mistakes have memories, too. Even though we know God forgives and forgets we have a hard time letting them go. In my process of transformation, I realize I must let go in order for the metamorphosis to continue. Faces, pictures, places, and songs can all trigger a memory, good or bad. The hard part is keeping the memory but allowing the emotion not to overtake you. The memory is there to help us learn. With out the memory we can not grow, evolve, change, metamorphose into the beauty that awaits us. So, I'm keeping the memories, forgiving the feelings and just like my "muscle memory" I will be stronger and better. "I am sure that God who began a good work in you will keep right on helping you grow in His grace, until His task with you is finally finished on that day when Christ returns." Phil. 1:6
P.S. planned on working biceps and back, but went to dinner with a friend...way more important.

When I grow up I want to be a butterfly

My day started like every other day...opened my eyes, wandered to the kitchen, started cracking eggs to make my egg white/oatmeal pancake. One thing was different; my thought process. I usually think about any important meetings or appointments I am obligated to, but today I thought, "What will I do exactly to help transform my soul? What is holding me back or weighing me down?" Later in the day I still hadn't quite figured it out until I watched a beautiful Monarch butterfly flutter by me. It soared carelessly through the air. "What if my soul felt as light as a butterfly floating through the sky?", I asked myself. Then the words came to me...."Let go, let go, let go." Letting go means to resign to anything I can't change whether it's mistakes, regrets, failures or hurts. Which actually means I will have to change. When I look at a butterfly I'm amazed at the miracle of it's stages of life. Buckminster Fuller said, There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it's going to be a butterfly. If you think about it a cocoon is ugly, cracking, hard, boring to look at and all wrapped up in it's self. Yet if disturbed during it's process it will never fully develop and the miracle inside will never be released. It will never have the opportunity to fly free. So...the truth is you have to go through the ugly to get to the beauty, but if it makes me soar like a butterfly it's worth the process.
"Now your attitudes and thoughts must be constantly changing for the better. Yes, you must be a new and different person." Ephesians 4:23
P.S. worked shoulders and triceps, ran 30 min.

The journey begins...

I surrender. Sometimes in life we need to surrender. Surrendering is to yield, to give up in favor of another. Surrendering isn't always a bad thing. At times, it can make us stronger. I'm at a point in my life where I know it's time to surrender...so, here it goes. My list of things I surrender: my pride, my arrogance, my selfishness, everything and anything I've put before God. I'm thinking like this: if I can spend countless hours in the gym working on the outside, what will happen to me if I spend countless hours working on the inside? Romans 7:18- "I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature." For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. In my own human nature, I am powerless. This is the year I dedicate to my inner being, my soul. In my 41 years, I have never desired to know God more than I do now. I'm on a journey to find God, who HE is and what HE means to me. Let the training begin!